turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
