Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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