How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Don't make out with my wife yet
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
