just survived the first fart of the relationship.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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