Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
