i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
