Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
birth control should be required to get into college
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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