You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
