clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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