Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
