If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
