He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
