So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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