just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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