Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
