I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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