When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
