you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just invented taco cereal.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
