atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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