I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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