You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
