Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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