i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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