Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
