my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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