Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
