Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
