The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
