I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
