I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
