Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
