Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
