I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
