I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
