Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
