She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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