I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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