HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
