thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how can u be prego again
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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