i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
