I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
