i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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