ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
