i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
