I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
