you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
