??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
