Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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