I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
