Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
